You guys suck. You just do. And when I say, “you guys”, know that I’m specifically referring to #HeatTwitter. That’s right; I hate all of you with so much unwavering passion and resentment.

You know, why? Because headaches suck, and in the wise words of one Josh Nichols, “HEADACHES! YOU GIVE ME HEADACHES!”

Needless to say, life as a Heat fan has been pretty stressful lately.

It’s late July in Miami. Hot, sunny, and indescribably humid. Everything seemed just right with the Miami Heat.

○ They added another Dukie by drafting Justise Winslow with the tenth pick, who many considered him the steal of the draft.

○ Hassan Whiteside was under contract on a huge bargain for one last year.

○ Goran Dragic quickly re-signed and took a relatively large discount.

○ Franchise icon Dwyane Wade re-signed for the short term, with many speculating a “wink-wink” deal was promised for next summer.

○ “Glue-guy” Luol Deng opted into the final year of his contract, and would become one of Winslow’s mentors.

○ Value deals were agreed to by Gerald Green and Amar’e Stoudemire to help fill out the roster.

○ Both Chris Bosh and Josh McRoberts finally returned from season-ending injuries and ailments.

○ And there were so many preview articles littered with the Heat’s “likely” Eastern Conference Finals matchup with the Cleveland Cavaliers, where they would try and “dethrone the King.”

Everything seemed at peace, you know? Things were getting better and the Heat were going to be an Eastern Conference contender again.

Now, here we are, in the cold winter, midway through the season, and everything is in shambles – or, at least, it feels like it is. At the time of writing, the Miami Heat own a daunting 23-21 record.

Key players like Dragic, Whiteside, McRoberts are missing time, and others like Wade, Tyler Johnson, and Green are banged up and not playing up to their usual levels.

After losses, fans argue over who to place the blame on, players are being traded left and right by #HeatTwitter, (However, I don’t believe you if you tell me you don’t enjoy playing with the ESPN Trade Machine), and #FireSpo is making its glorious return, (I use the word “glorious” as sarcastically as possible).

#HeatTwitter after losses looks something like this.

It’s obvious to many that the team, as talented as its individuals might seem, just doesn’t mesh too well. Accounting for most, if not all of the different measurements, the Heat are an ever-so-slightly above-average basketball team. They are only two games above .500 and currently on pace for about 43 wins, probably good enough for the fifth or sixth seed in the Eastern Conference, but, simply not good enough for the burden of expectations we oftentimes overhype.

According to NBA.com, the Heat’s Offensive Rating is a mediocre 101.4, which puts them in the same company as underachieving, not-so-good teams like the Milwaukee Bucks and Denver Nuggets. Their Net Rating is a mere 1.2.

Their point differential for the season is 0.1, which places them right smack in the middle of the NBA. They play at the second slowest pace in the league, which is a big reason why they score the third-least points per game in the league.

It hasn’t always been easy or fun to watch.

One of the main selling points for the Heat headed into the season was the ultra-talented starting lineup of Dragic, Wade, Deng, Bosh, and Whiteside. A lot of the hype was based off what that lineup could achieve, even though that lineup had never played a single minute of NBA basketball before this season.

So much for that. Miami’s starting lineup is barely a net positive for the season, with a Net Rating of 0.8, not exactly overwhelming. The pieces simply don’t fit well enough together.

Dragic and Wade both want to be the primary playmaker for this team, since both are very good scorers and passers. Also, both of their games are predicated on penetration and making quick decisions once they do get that penetration.

Besides the fact that there aren’t enough balls, apparently, for the two of them to share, there is also the problem that the paint is extremely clogged. Whiteside’s game is to stay in the paint, grab rebounds, catch lobs and the occasional (and ineffective) post-up.

While Bosh has become one of the better representatives for the evolution of NBA basketball, his versatility is his greatest weapon, and he’s been the Miami’s best player all year.

He’s become a great shooter, hovering around 40 percent from the three-point line all season. He is also an absolutely great defensive piece with his ability to blitz a variety of highly-used pick-and-rolls effectively, where he switches from one player to another seamlessly while also managing to be a good rim protector.

He uses his underrated basketball IQ, agility, and above-average foot speed for his effective dribble-drive from the elbow, his sweet spot. But because of the paint being so clogged, the effectiveness of that part of his game is cut in half.

And while Luol Deng has done a decent job at transitioning towards the modern game by slowly becoming a “Three-and-D” guy, as well as embracing playing small-ball power forward, he isn’t exactly an optimal fit, either.

He’s made a career off of precise cuts to the basket within the offense, as well as the occasional, in-rhythm, mid-range jumper. He’s at his best when he is cutting in the paint and he can’t really do that as much anymore because of the needs of his teammates as well as the small-ball evolution of the NBA.

So, to recap, all five starters have struggled to deal with the screwed up spacing, which has limited everyone’s impact immensely.

The month of January has been absolutely BRUTAL for the Heat. They didn’t just get bit by the injury bug, they contracted some kind of permanent disease that has seemingly infected the entire roster. The list of players that have NOT missed time or played while hurt recently is as follows: Bosh, Stoudemire, Jarnell Stokes, Josh Richardson, Udonis Haslem and Winslow. That’s it.

On top of the endless injuries, the Heat come out in second halves and look completely disinterested. In the month of January, Miami has a truly terrible -12.9 Net Rating in third quarters. To put some context to that stat, the Philadelphia 76ers, who epitomize what it means to be “truly terrible”, have a -10.7 Net Rating.

Although none of us really know what it’s like to go through the grind of an NBA season in the middle of winter, it’s hard to not yell at the TV sometimes. The Heat are unquestionably banged up, and everything about this team has taken a turn for the worse. I love Coach Spo, but his “What we have is enough to win” quotes before every game makes me cringe as if having confidence with your team is a bad thing.

Team captains Wade and Bosh know what’s happening all too well. Both have come out publicly and accepted that “we’re gonna drop” and that “It will get worse before it gets better”, which probably doesn’t inspire many Heat fans to change their outlook on the team, thus calling for lower expectations.

Yeah, things haven’t been so great recently. I don’t feel like I’m alone when I say that it feels like this team could be so much better, which is both a blessing and a curse. This month has felt too similar to last season, and I was hoping I would never have to suffer through that ever again. 

You see what I did throughout this entire thing? Where I intentionally emphasized all of Miami’s flaws and left out anything positive?

That’s similar to how I read so much of my Twitter timeline after losses. Heat fans are spiraling all over the place because they haven’t been used to NOT coasting through a regular season and being an automatic title contender for some time now. It is an absolute rollercoaster of irrationality and emotion. That’s what fans do. But the entitlement and whining of so many of us have been exceptional thus far.

Let’s go over the facts. The Miami Heat are not title contenders, no. There’s a pretty decent chance they don’t end up advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals to try and dethrone the King like we’d all hoped. However, they are, in fact, a good, above-average team when healthy.

Before the black plague of injuries (Part II) struck after the first couple of weeks of January, Miami had a 22-14 record, the 11th-best offense and sixth-best defense, with a total Net Rating of 4.4, which was only behind the clear-cut four best teams in the league (Warriors, Spurs, Thunder, Cavs).

In those first five games of January, the Heat sported an incredible 10.9 Net Rating. The offense was running much more smoothly and the defense was still playing at an elite level. There was significant improvement happening before hell struck in the form of injuries.

So, why are we all freaking out? It’s always the same thing with way too many of you people:

“I knew this team would suck and you guys are dumb for thinking otherwise”, “Bosh needs to get in the post and dominate”, “Goran sucks! OVERPAID!”, “Deng is trash because I don’t like the way his jump shot looks and he dribbles funny”, “Hassan is NOT a max player!!!”, “We should have never traded Chalmers smh.”

Oh and then the best part is when everyone feuds with guys like Mike Ryan and Chris Cochran, two executive producers at 790 The Ticket, for saying Tyler Johnson is better than Dragic and for comparing the Heat organization to the Dolphins organization, respectively.

Do I even have to say anything?  I like to compare my Twitter timeline after Heat losses to the United States, filled with hate and pollution.

The Heat are on a bad stretch, and yes, it’s ugly right now. We all know that once the injuries stop, once everyone gets back into their grooves and games are won again, that all of you who somehow knew all along that “The Heat suck and they’re bad,” (even though so many people said this team was unpredictable before the season began), are going to be the same people screaming “Heat in 6!!!” over whichever playoff matchup comes around.

As the man you all worship, Pat Riley, likes to say, “Get a grip.” Stop doing the football fan thing of overreacting to one game samples. Stop trying to blame losses on one individual, whether it be Spo, Bosh, Wade, Dragic, Whiteside or anyone else.

But most of all, stop ending the season after every loss. You all sound like crazy people and much like Dolphins fans when you do that. Trust me, we’ve got a long way to go.